Dishing It Out on the Silver Screen...

America is fascinated with the diner waitress. Her image, attitude and demeanor have been showcased with various degrees of authenticity by television and Hollywood since the 1930’s.

Promo shot from Ed's Dabevics - Los Angeles, CA

When I was scouting potential waitresses to interview for Counter Culture, I asked people if they knew any career coffee shop waitresses. Many people reenacted a stereotype of the wisecracking, gum-smacking diner waitress. I heard a story about a waitress in New Jersey who had a heavy East Coast accent and served customers with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, looking discontented and disinterested. I heard another story about a lifer who wore teal-blue eye shadow and a towering beehive. Although I was completely taken in by these colorful portraits, I had to wonder if these women really existed or if they were exaggerations inspired by Hollywood stereotypes that have not only created the image of the cranky, colorful, downtrodden lifer but have also shaped her into the icon that she is today.

Historically waitressing has carried a stigma that is still hard to shake. Waitresses were not only devalued, but considered to be women of low moral standards and class. In the 1920’s waitresses were often thought of as prostitutes in disguise. In 1945 James West wrote, “…a girl who left her hometown to become a waitress in the regional metropolis was generally assumed to have become a prostitute also.” In addition, when real prostitutes were arrested and asked their profession, they lied and told police they were waitresses to explain the cash they were carrying.

Bette Davis in "Of Human Bondage."

Films like "Of Human Bondage,"  (1934), featured Bette Davis as a low class waitress with no moral character. She says, "Just because I’m only a waitress doesn’t mean I can’t be a lady.”

Joan Crawford’s wise and efficient waitress in "Mildred Pierce" (1945), was a refreshingly powerful portrait of a woman who used waitressing as a platform for her success.

Joan Crawford in "Mildred Pierce"

In "Five Easy Pieces" (1970) a waitress stands up to Jack Nicholson who tries to get around the "no substitutions" policy.

Scene from "Five Easy Pieces"

Jack Nicholson: "I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes, tomatoes instead. A cup of coffee and toast."

Waitress, pointing to his menu: "No substitutions. I don't make the rules," 

Jack Nicholson: "OK, I'll make it as easy for you as I can. I'd like an omelet, plain. And a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast. No mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee."

Waitress: "A No. 2, chicken sal sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?"

Jack Nicholson: "Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."

Waitress: "You want me to hold the chicken, huh?"

Jack Nicholson: "I want you to hold it between your knees."

Waitress, pointing to the right-to-serve sign: "Do you see that sign, sir? I guess you'll all have to leave. I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm."

Whether it’s Madge selling dish soap on TV or other memorable waitresses in film such as "Bagdad Café," Michelle Pfeiffer in "Frankie & Johnny" and Helen Hunt in "As Good As it Gets," diner waitresses continue to be a staple in the American media.

Here is Lily Tomlin playing a trailer park waitress in Robert Altman’s "Short Cuts" (1993)

Lily Tomlin in "Short Cuts."

Two of the most famous servers of the silver screen have to be Ellen Burstyn and in Martin Scorsese’s "Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore" (1974), which inspired the hit television show "Alice." 

Linda Lavin in "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore."

Diane Ladd in "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore."

Who can forget the sassy, foul-mouthed waitress, Flo who would smack her gum and scream, “Kiss my grits!”

How it all started

I started Taylor Made Culture in 2002. Wow, I can't believe that was over 10 years ago. I had just graduated from the California College of the Arts with a Master's Degree in Visual Criticism. It's a fancy liberal arts degree that may take me the rest of my life to pay off, but it was an incredible program and just what I needed. My Bachelor’s degree is in Painting & Drawing. I entered grad school as a scenic painter for film and television productions and left as a critical thinker who could tell a story in any medium. Viz Crit (that's what we called it) liberated me from a world of canvas and paint. It was one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I studied semiotics and deconstructed Foucault, Derrida, Burgin, Benjamin, and others. I felt like I was in way over my head but it taught me to think differently and find meaning in everyday experiences, like getting my hair done or eating in a restaurant.

My thesis was on diner waitresses which evolved into the book and exhibit, Counter Culture: The American Coffee Shop Waitress. The idea came to me while slinging sushi in San Francisco. After a busy Friday night, I sat down in the back with the other servers to count my tips. The back table was a place to do paperwork, tip out coworkers, and relive all the drama of the evening. We swapped stories about our futile attempts to reason with irrational customers and commiserated about the great effort it took to get the food out of the kitchen. While eating our late-night dinners at 1:00am and balancing our sales reports we dreamed about what we were going to do with our lives after we left our service jobs for our true calling. We complained about how tired we were—our feet throbbed, our legs ached, and our arms were sore. I thought to myself, if we are this tired, how do waitresses twice our age (I was in my early thirties at the time) do this, and how do they feel about their jobs? Are they bitter after years of dealing with difficult customers? Do they have dreams they never realized? Are they worn out from the physical and mental demands of the job? And what about those who worked in coffee shops? They average eight to ten-hour shifts, and my workdays were only four to six hours. I made decent money serving sushi in San Francisco but what about those who worked in greasy spoons in small, remote towns? What about health insurance? Aging in the workplace? Retirement?

Truck Inn - off Route 80 in Nevada, near Reno.

The questions kept coming. I did some research and found that very little had been written about this subculture. Although there were several excellent books about waitressing only a few featured older career waitresses who refer to themselves as “lifers.” Realizing this window of opportunity, by the end of the month I was on the road with a digital camera, a recorder, a scanner, and a map (that was back when we still used maps to get around). Over the following six years I traveled over 26,000 miles interviewing diner waitresses. I loved being on the road capturing the stories of these American icons. I was hooked. 

Jean Joseph has waitressed for over 60 years - Al's Good Food. San Francisco, CA 

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